Many young couples are pressured into marriage as a result of an unplanned pregnancy. Remember that you are in control here.
Index: In this article we share valuable information about your child’s needs and the effects your marriage will have on them. We will address the following pregnancy questions:
- I’m pregnant. Does that mean I have to get married?
- I think I might be pregnant. How do I tell the father I don’t want to get married?
- Is there anyone I can talk to for support during pregnancy?
- Is it okay to be a single parent?
- If I am pregnant, what are all my options?
Some people will tell you that getting married is the only “right” or “responsible” thing to do. The father of the baby may feel that it is his duty to get married. You may feel at a loss and marriage may sound comforting and secure. Some will say it is best for the baby to be born into a family with a mommy and a daddy who are married before the baby is born. Hopefully you are in a position to make this decision without undue pressure. No matter your circumstances we are here to help you with big decisions like marriage. There is no universal right or wrong answer to the looming question; If I’m pregnant do I have to get married? Every situation is different and it is common to feel overwhelmed by other people’s opinions.
Children require security and stability. When their parents are living in a loving and harmonious relationship, the child will feel loved and secure. But marriage requires commitment for the long haul. Even the most mature and “in love” man and woman may one day fall “out of love” with the other. It requires commitment to stay together even when you don’t feel like staying.
If you are pregnant and considering marriage, think through some of the following questions:
- Do you love the father of the baby?
- Would he make a good father?
- Does he show responsibility?
- Does he have his own place to live separate from friends and family?
- How long does he stay at the same job?
- Does he save money?
- Does he pay his bills on time?
- Did he graduate from high school, college or have skilled job training?
- How does he treat you?
- Does he make you feel good about yourself?
- Is he someone you can always count on?
- Can you see yourself married to him for the rest of your life?
- Would you get married to him right now even if you were not pregnant?
If you are not 100% sure that you love him and that you want to be married to him for the rest of your life, take time to consider some other options for your sake and for the sake of your baby.
If you have just discovered you are pregnant it is normal to feel stressed, scared and/or confused. However, try to remember that you have the power to make strong, good decisions for your baby. If you do not want to marry the father of your baby, you do not need to be afraid to say so. Explain what you believe is best for your baby, after all, you are the mama!
Here at Aggieland Pregnancy Outreach we want to support you and your baby in every way possible. Whether you decide to get married and parent your baby together, to be a single parent, or make the brave decision to place your baby with an adoptive family, we are here to provide resources. We offer free pregnancy services such as pregnancy counseling, assistance obtaining medical care, transportation to appointments, outreach to teen parents and adoption.
You can call us any time, any day at 979-764-6636 or come into our office for free counseling. We would love to sit with you and talk through your options. You can also learn more about and join our support group or come to Mama Club on Tuesday nights. Every week we share a free meal with you and your kid(s), play games, learn, give out diapers and sometimes shop at our Mama Store! All moms have different circumstances but, you are never alone. Wondering if it is okay to be a single parent? Come to Mama Club and meet other amazing single parent mamas! When trying to decide if single parenting is The best option for you and your baby, consider your current situation as well as your future hopes and dreams.
Getting married and single parenting are not your only options. Aggieland Pregnancy Outreach can also help you learn more about adoption. Choosing to place your baby in adoption is an extremely brave, hard and admirable decision. If you are thinking “I’m pregnant but I don’t think I can take care of a baby”, adoption is an amazing choice. We can answer all your adoption frequently asked questions and help you understand the adoption process.
(Beck and Hayley were married in June 2002. They adopted their son, Judah, in 2011 and their daughter, Eva, in 2015.)